Jokes n Stuff
A place to LOL
3,592 topics in this forum
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- 2 replies
- 363 views
A gentleman had a serious problem. He made several attempts to enter the men's washrooom, but found it to be occupied. A lady noticed that he was walking strangely, taking small steps, and with a look of pain and anxiety on his face. "Sir," she said, "the ladies room is unoccupied. You may use it only if you promise not to touch the buttons on the wall." He was about to explode, and would have promised anything, so he agreed to her terms. The relief was pure joy, and as he sat there, savouring the feeling, he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Three white buttons were identified with the letters: WW, WA and PP, and there was one red bu…
Last reply by siberianandy, -
- 7 replies
- 531 views
have a look at the following and see if you can spot whats wrong sound is a must http://www.rumdesign.com/wrong/
Last reply by majormom2u, -
When I was a toddler, someone gave me a little Tea Set as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys. My father was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him a little cup of tea, which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "Did it ever occur to you that the only place that a toddler c…
Last reply by sammie, -
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and the talk turns to their adventures. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch. "How did you end up with the peg leg?" he asks. The pirate replies, "I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. As my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off." "Wow!" says the seaman. "What about your hook?" "Well," answers the pirate, "we were boarding a ship when one of the enemy hacked off my hand." "Incredible!" says the seaman. "Howd you get the eye patch?" "A seagull shit in my eye," the pirate replies. "You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?…
Last reply by sammie, -
- 1 reply
- 286 views
Ron was in big trouble with his wife. He forgot his wedding anniversary. Naturally his wife was livid. She told him, "Tomorrow morning I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less then 6 seconds!! AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!" The next morning Ron got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Ron has been missing since Friday.
Last reply by BingBlaze n Skyla, -
- 3 replies
- 340 views
Rule 1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. Rule 2: It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances: a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master. b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse. c. After wrecking your boss' car. d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game". Rule 3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies. Rule 4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours. Rule 5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off …
Last reply by Malamute, -
water slide
by Sarah- 3 replies
- 350 views
Three guys are at the top of a huge water slide when they notice a genie. He says to them, "Since there are 3 of you, I will grant you each one wish. When you are going down the slide, simply shout what you want and it will appear at the bottom when you get there." So the first guy goes down and shouts, "A billion dollars," and he lands in a pile of money. The second guy goes down the slide and shouts, "Beautiful women," and he arrives to a line of hot models. Then the third guy is so excited going down the slide that he shouts, "WEEEEEEEEE!"
Last reply by Mistyrayn, -
Revenge lol
by Sarah- 1 reply
- 292 views
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water. When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days Then …
Last reply by BingBlaze n Skyla, -
- 2 replies
- 383 views
[ame=" "] [/ame] Seriously funny...
Last reply by Sarah, -
- 2 replies
- 352 views
Below are excerpts about how guys can score points (or lose them) from their gals from "The Game of Romance: How to Keep Score" from Men's Health Magazine, November, 1996, p 110-115, along with some things that are just expected of guys, therefore having a score of zero: Simple Duties ------------- You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings: +5 But return with beer: -5 You check out a suspicious noise at night: 0 You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing: 0 You check out a suspicious noise and it's something: +5 You pummel it with a six iron: +10 It's her father: -10 …
Last reply by Mistyrayn, -
- 4 replies
- 373 views
Typical bloke ???? lol
Last reply by Sarah, -
- 7 replies
- 455 views
Two football teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-Decker bus for a weekend trip to Liverpool. The Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the Blonde team rode on the top level. The Brunette team down below really whooped it up, having a great time, when one of them realized she hadn't heard anything from the Blondes upstairs. She decided to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reached the top, she found all the Blondes in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles. The brunette asked, 'What the heck's going on up here? .... We're having a great time dow…
Last reply by Austinville, -
- 9 replies
- 527 views
sorry guys * What happens when two snails fight? * They slug it out. * What's the strongest bird? * A crane. * How do French poodles greet each other? * Bone-jour. * What kind of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? * Iceberg. * Why would you take a hammer to bed? * So you could hit the sack. * What did the Spanish farmer say to his chickens? * Oh-lay!
Last reply by siberian_wolf, -
- 1 reply
- 434 views
WHo wins ... watch and see.. lol [ame] [/ame]
Last reply by siberian_wolf, -
- 6 replies
- 520 views
Searching youtube again and came across this, the second one is a bit but the rest are very funny especially the Kiss pandas... [ame=" "] [/ame]
Last reply by siberian_wolf, -
- 5 replies
- 400 views
# Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? # Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra? # Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? # Is it possible to have a civil war? # If God dropped acid, would he see people? # If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? # If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? # If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry? # If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? # Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it becaus…
Last reply by siberian_wolf, -
- 3 replies
- 332 views
1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set 2. A day without sunshine is, like, night 3. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. 5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. 8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. 9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges. 10. Honk if you love peace and quiet. 11. Remember half the people you know are below average. …
Last reply by siberian_wolf, -
- 3 replies
- 563 views
For all your star wars fans .. This is Funny [ame]http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5058529870025933880[/ame]
Last reply by Sonic_Sibe, -
- 1 reply
- 411 views
Now Im totally totally confused LOL [ame] [/ame]
Last reply by Sarah, -
Anyone who aint seen this video ... should have .. This guy is nuts LOL [ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60og9gwKh1o[/ame]
Last reply by Sonic_Sibe, -
- 3 replies
- 398 views
* Act naturally * Found missing * Airline Food * Synthetic natural gas * Alone together * Legally drunk * Political science * Sweet sorrow * Definite maybe * "Now, then..." * Silent scream * Same difference * Advanced 'BASIC' * Terribly pleased * Tight slacks * Plastic glasses * Casual sex * Government organization * Military Intelligence * …
Last reply by Sarah, -
- 5 replies
- 378 views
Signs of being addicted You know you have a problem with being addicted to dog sledding and your dogs when: *In your spare time you sit and watch the weather channel while you relax and make more ganglines *you say to your partner " I promise honey this is the last litter" *after you have said the above you secretly pick out the next stud. *you forget to pick up the kids from school because you just got the most amazing snow fall and just had to go sledding *you wake up in the middle of the night run down stairs to make final changes to the main team line up. *you spend more time reading the labe…
Last reply by CanadianWolf, -
- 5 replies
- 419 views
I've gotta get this!!!!
Last reply by sammie, -
prank call
by Sarah- 1 reply
- 396 views
lmao - gotta try this..... [ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI[/ame]
Last reply by Dunc, -
- 11 replies
- 640 views
Don't normally go in for joke sending etc etc but this made me chuckle. The wife rang me last night in a right old panick "I'm just filling up with petrol and a bloke sneezed all over me" she cried, "do you think I might catch Swine Flu now?" "You silly Cow", I replied, It's from Mexico, NOT Texaco!!
Last reply by siberian_wolf,
