Jokes n Stuff
A place to LOL
3,592 topics in this forum
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- 2 replies
- 373 views
Pretty impressive lol http://www.dailymotion.com/lang/en/video/x88fy3_magic-hand-art_fun
Last reply by Sarah, -
- 1 reply
- 347 views
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. When it's in your best interest, always practice obedience. Let others know when they've invaded your territory. Take naps and always stretch before rising. Run, romp, and play daily. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close…
Last reply by BingBlaze n Skyla, -
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"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder: What the #$&@* was I thinking?" "Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife." "How could two people as beautiful as you have such an ugly baby?" "I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind." "I must admit, you brought religion in my life. I never believed in hell until I met you." "As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to ruin it for me." "If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister." …
Last reply by BingBlaze n Skyla, -
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Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat…
Last reply by Sarah, -
New Alphabet A is for apple, and B is for boat, That used to be right, but now it won't float! Age before beauty is what we once said, But let's be a bit more realistic instead. Now The Alphabet A's for arthritis; B's the bad back, C's the chest pains, Perhaps car-d-iac? D is for dental decay and decline, E is for eyesight, can't read that top line! F is for fissures and fluid retention, G is for gas which We'd rather not mention. H .. High blood pressure--We'd rather it low; I . For incisions with scars you can show. J is for joints, out of…
Last reply by jules dief taz tor, -
- 3 replies
- 287 views
Put your dog and your spouse in the trunk of the car for ten minutes. When you open the trunk, which one is really happy to see you? I do not advocate putting your dog in the trunk for any amount of time! Spouse? Well...........
Last reply by Sarah, -
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- 368 views
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping thru the forest road when she sees the big bad wolf crouched down behind a log. 'My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf.' The wolf jumps up and runs away. Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched behind a bush. 'My what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf.' Again the wolf jumps up and runs away. About 1/4 mile down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock. 'My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf.' With that the wolf jumps up and screams, 'Will yo…
Last reply by Sarah, -
Ever wanted to play a prank in the office at work? Try and top this LOL http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=f6b_1187462055
Last reply by Ice and Cripton, -
HEHEHE.........................
Last reply by Sarah, -
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- 375 views
Thought I would post up this exam for you all to have a go at INSTRUCTIONS Read each of the following fifteen problems carefully. Answer all parts to each problem. Time limit: 4 hours. Begin immediately. 1. HISTORY Describe the history of the papacy from its origin to the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on it social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America and Africa. Be brief, concise and specific. 2. MEDICINE You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until yo…
Last reply by Marc, -
- 38 replies
- 1.3k views
Another fun post... Annie Lennox
Last reply by siberian_wolf, -
A - Z Band Names 1 2
by Sarah- 40 replies
- 1.6k views
Ok i'll start off. When we get to Z just go back to A ABBA
Last reply by siberian_wolf, -
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- 442 views
Q: Why do men become smarter during sex? A: Because they are plugged into a genius. Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay? A: They don't have time. Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg? A: They won't stop for directions. Q: Why did God put men on earth? A: Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn. Q: Why don't women have men's brains? A: Because they don't have penises to put them in. Q: What do electric trains and breasts have in common? A: They're intended for children, but it's the men who usually end up playing with them. Q: Why do men snore when they lay …
Last reply by Chewbacca_&_me, -
- 4 replies
- 453 views
Thought this depicts a typical sibe attitude: stoppedlistening copy.bmp
Last reply by Mazz, -
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One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve called out to God..."Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the problem, Eve?" "Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy." "Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above. "Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples." "Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you." "What's a 'man', Lord?" "This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you…
Last reply by majormom2u, -
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We got off the Titanic first. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. We can cry and get off speeding fines. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game. Taxis stop for us. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. Free drinks, free dinners…
Last reply by BingBlaze n Skyla, -
- 1 reply
- 427 views
a video from one of your favourite musicals heres one from cats [ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OekFxRxCuNM[/ame]
Last reply by sammie, -
- 30 replies
- 1.4k views
When you get to Z, start again! I'll Start! Akita
Last reply by Topaz, -
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Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds".. Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. "How long will this take?" I asked. They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies. I stopped. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of…
Last reply by Sarah, -
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- 416 views
1. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours? 2. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? 3. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? 4. Why do banks charge a fee on insufficient funds when they know there is not enough? 5. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? 6. Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? 7. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? 8. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?…
Last reply by siberian_wolf, -
- 2 replies
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Last reply by Austinville, -
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1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't. 2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. 4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. 6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me 7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. 8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. 9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing. 10... Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. 11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-…
Last reply by siberianandy, -
- 19 replies
- 682 views
LMAO!!!! http://justuff.net/uslessology/application.html
Last reply by BingBlaze n Skyla, -
- 8 replies
- 484 views
I think we all know who the culprit might be..........haiyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaa
Last reply by CanadianWolf, -
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An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up really nice, along with some picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. When he came closer, he realized it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presenc…
Last reply by siberianandy,
