Jokes n Stuff
A place to LOL
3,592 topics in this forum
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- 1 reply
- 396 views
Last reply by Emma, -
- 3 replies
- 545 views
This is ice all over.
Last reply by Emma, -
- 3 replies
- 442 views
An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a Small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi 'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?' Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie.' Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?' Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.' Kiwi: (look of extreme shock) Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager) Dog: 'Yep' Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?' Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.' Kiwi: (look of utter disbelie…
Last reply by Emma, -
- 4 replies
- 455 views
My new Apple watch arrived frankly I was expecting more for my money
Last reply by Andy, -
- 2 replies
- 391 views
“The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.” (Robert Frost) “The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” (Dennis Miller) “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” (Edgar Bergen) “Doing nothing is very hard to do … you never know when you’re finished.” (Leslie Nielsen) “The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you’re on the job.” (Slappy White) “I only go to work on days that don’t end in a ‘y.’” (Robert Paul) “It’s just a job. Grass g…
Last reply by Emma, -
- 2 replies
- 391 views
Judi was walking by the jewelry store one day in the midtown mall. She saw a diamond bracelet that she really liked. In the store she went. "Excuse me," she said to the sales lady behind the counter, "Will a small deposit hold that bracelet until my husband does something unforgivable?"
Last reply by Emma, -
- 1 reply
- 479 views
Last reply by Emma, -
Consultant
by Mazz- 4 replies
- 458 views
Definition Consultant - A person you pay your money to, to use your watch, to tell you what time it is.
Last reply by Mazz, -
- 3 replies
- 459 views
A group of seniors were sitting around at the Coffee Club talking about all their ailments. "My arms have got so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one. "Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad, I can't even see my coffee." "I couldn't even mark an "X" at election time because my hands are so crippled," volunteered a third. "What? Speak up! What? I can't hear you,” said one elderly lady. “I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said one, to which several nodded weakly in agreement. "My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy!" exclaimed another. "I forget where I am, and where I'm…
Last reply by Mazz, -
- 3 replies
- 402 views
DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and Family values. Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?' Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?' ___________________________________________ A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?' The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.' ___________________________________________ 'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week…
Last reply by Sparks, -
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- 617 views
Last reply by robke, -
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- 1.2k views
Last reply by robke, -
Last reply by Andy,
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Old Granddad
by Mazz- 2 replies
- 534 views
My old granddad used to tell me people were either like pianos or like organs. And he always preferred the bald ones.
Last reply by robke, -
Pretty simple really... Alphabetical cities or countries. The first one starts with an A but the next one starts with the letter the first one ends with So if I use Azerbaijan the next one starts N.... Azerbaijan
Last reply by Jase, -
- 5 replies
- 832 views
and for those not wise on super hero's Thor's hammer is magic and only he can pick it up not even the hulk or superman can move it
Last reply by Sparks, -
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- 2.5k views
Last reply by Emma, -
The dogs know the "walkies" word only too well. [emoji3]
Last reply by robke, -
- 2 replies
- 495 views
Last reply by NOBELHOWLUC49, -
Sock Stealer
by Emma- 2 replies
- 403 views
This would be my Bear. She's got a thing for stealing socks and gloves. She hides under my son's bed and sucks on them. No idea why though!
Last reply by Emma, -
- 2 replies
- 396 views
To the tune of Benny Hill theme music.
Last reply by Andy, -
- 0 replies
- 338 views
I think Ice attended this lesson!
Last reply by Emma, -
- 1 reply
- 364 views
California Vinters in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produces Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir, and Pinot Griglo wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic. It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night. The new wine will be marketed as Pino More.
Last reply by Emma, -
Survey Says!
by Mazz- 1 reply
- 369 views
40 % of Americans with significant others say it would be harder to leave their dog than their partner.
Last reply by Emma, -
- 1 reply
- 366 views
An elephant is drinking water along the river when he spots a turtle asleep on a log. The elephant ambles over and kicks the unsuspecting turtle clear across the river. "Why did you do that?" asked a nearby giraffe. "Because I recognized it as the same turtle that took a nip out of my trunk 47 years ago." "Wow, you have some memory!" says the giraffe. "Yes, indeed," says the elephant, "turtle recall."
Last reply by Emma,
