BingBlaze n Skyla Posted February 20, 2009 Report Share Posted February 20, 2009 The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door. Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required. The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough. Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door: TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS: (1) They live here. You don't. (2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture. (3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. (4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly. Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they (1) eat less, (2) don't ask for money all the time, (3) are easier to train, (4) normally come when called, (5) never ask to drive the car, (6) don't hang out with drug-using people; (7) don't smoke or drink, (8) don't want to wear your clothes, (9) don't have to buy the latest fashions, (10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and (11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
siberian_wolf Posted February 20, 2009 Report Share Posted February 20, 2009 ROFL!!!!!!!!!!! very good, I think this has been posted before but still makes me laugh when I read it!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sqwidge Posted February 20, 2009 Report Share Posted February 20, 2009 that is really funny....had to share with my work mates! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah Posted February 20, 2009 Report Share Posted February 20, 2009 lmao think i've seen this before, but always funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BingBlaze n Skyla Posted February 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 20, 2009 oops sorry i dnt think ive seen it b4 which is y i posted it sorry 2 whoeva i copied lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah Posted February 20, 2009 Report Share Posted February 20, 2009 nix ya thief get ya own posts lmao xxxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BingBlaze n Skyla Posted February 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 20, 2009 lmao i got it emailed 2 me n i liked it n thought all u lot wud aswell didnt think i was stealin it lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Austinville Posted February 20, 2009 Report Share Posted February 20, 2009 I have a copy of this on my frig. I love it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah Posted February 20, 2009 Report Share Posted February 20, 2009 ah thats where you stole it from nix lol lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistyrayn Posted February 20, 2009 Report Share Posted February 20, 2009 i have that up in my house .. and if im not mistaken poss was me who posted it on here ages ago Nixy.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah Posted February 20, 2009 Report Share Posted February 20, 2009 oh aye nix - been in Richards house stealing ideas have we ?????????? lmao Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.