lovemysiberian Posted May 2, 2012 Report Share Posted May 2, 2012 A year ago today, I had to go through the hardest decision I ever had to make, to euthanize the best friend I've ever had, Taz. A lot of you know of him, because I talk about him all the time. He is always with me and in my heart. He was 2 months shy of being 15 years old, and had been diagnosed with hip dysplasia at the end of April 2011, and no amount of pain medication could undo the damage or slow it down and he deteriorated very fast.. it was shock, and it was a quick decision. I don't normally go into detail about the dreadful day 1 year ago, because a lot of it disturbs me and I felt it was not as peaceful as it should have been (not because I waited too long, because I didn't at all, just overall how things went that day). The burden still weighs heavy, the pain is still fresh, and I can relive every moment like it was just yesterday. I feel like a lot of people wonder why I still feel the way I do.. whether it's human or animal, I just tell people to imagine what it would be like to lose the most important thing to you and have no way to undo it, no way to bring them back, and especially having to be the one that has to make that decision. Through all the pain and suffering I have gone through from this, I'd rather it be myself suffering than Taz. Both situations were hard, but I think it was a harder for me to witness my poor baby in so much pain. I have gone through every emotion since it happen, and I have accepted it, but I'm not happy about it, and I just don't feel closure and I don't think I ever will. He brought so much joy, happiness and light into my life. He was the best friend I have even know and if I could go back in time, I would. I would sell my soul to have him back. I will be doing things for him today, in his memory. I plan on planting some Forget-Me-Nots, making a scrapbook of him if I can get my camera printer to work, and have a little memorial ceremony for him at 4:00 pm in my time zone, because that is the time that he was euthanized. I will also post up some pictures and videos I found on an old memory card.. it was a nice surprise when I found that card to see so many pictures of him I did not have on my computer. Here's a beautiful memorial photo that SA DA KA made for me. Thank you so much! "Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal." ~From a headstone in Ireland Coincidentally, I heard this song a few days after I loss Taz and it hit me really hard and the words (except for that random quote that's in the middle of the lyric video, which is not part of the song) were just so moving and perfect, it really described Taz & I and the loss of him. So, I had made it my song to Taz and I do get emotional when I hear it on the radio. QKstfgGFKqE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SA DA KA Posted May 2, 2012 Report Share Posted May 2, 2012 Jackie, Our thoughts are with you and we will be thinking of you and Taz at 4pm today. Husky Lovers in Vermont Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mollys_mum Posted May 2, 2012 Report Share Posted May 2, 2012 So sorry for your loss. What a lovely boy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PnkFlyd204 Posted May 2, 2012 Report Share Posted May 2, 2012 My thoughts are with you on this very difficult day. Taz sounds like he was an incredible husky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosemary Posted May 2, 2012 Report Share Posted May 2, 2012 Thank you for sharing your story - I will be thinking of you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BingBlaze n Skyla Posted May 2, 2012 Report Share Posted May 2, 2012 gone but never forgotton R.I.P Taz so sorry hun , massive hugs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AttilaVikingsDemon Posted May 2, 2012 Report Share Posted May 2, 2012 I too, will be thinking of Taz and you this day at 4:00-this will be for Taz... I too, know that feeling, for I had to make a similar decision for my best friend who grew old with me, King Red Leo, a Red Heeler whom I had from a pup til that fateful day when he was 15 1/2 years old, so I know what you're going through and its normal to feel the way that you do. North of The Rainbow Bridge by MakWa4me The time comes. A Siberian Husky lifts up its head. There is an untested adventure beyond. Time to go. Across the Rainbow Bridge is a place for all dogs. A river runs wide and shallow with tennis balls that fly with their own wings; that is the place for a Labrador or Golden to await its master's arrival. The Siberian is not content here. Northward is its trail.... There are soft pastures for Aussies and Border Collies, with sheep and geese to pen. Agility equipment grows like trees amid Frisbees and flyball. But the North continues its sure wild call, and the Siberian's journey continues.... Now the air is colder. Now the moon is always full. Now the light is silver and it breaks and shimmers on fields of bright snow. Now there are no roads, no walls, no pens, just endless space to run. This is where Siberians gather, North of the Rainbow Bridge. They wait in this beautiful place, happy, but not complete. Suddenly, a howl begins, as one dog senses someone coming, someone very special. All the Siberians raise their heads and join in the ancient chorus. They dance like moonbeams and sing like winter winds. There are red ones like dawn streaks, black ones splattered with many colors and silver ones like the first strange hour before light. They line up as if in harness and run together, in a scintillating, many-colored streak. The leader of the team guides the others past the fields and river, with racing feet and racing heart. They rush to greet the new arrival at the Rainbow Bridge, where the leader is rejoined with its beloved person, never to be parted again. The glory of the reunion is celebrated by all the Siberians dwelling beyond the Bridge, a glimmering, multicolored team leaping and whirling with joy. The light from that scene is what we see on magical evenings in the northernmost parts of this Earth: The Aurora Borealis, the Northern Lights beyond the Rainbow Bridge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaiasaur Posted May 8, 2012 Report Share Posted May 8, 2012 This is really touching... I am sorry for your loss a year ago. You do talk about him all the time. I'm sure you were a great pleasure in his life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mollys_mum Posted May 8, 2012 Report Share Posted May 8, 2012 So sorry for your loss. I think the planting of forget-me-nots is a really lovely idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovemysiberian Posted May 8, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 8, 2012 Thanks everyone for your kindness It has been a rough year without him! I said I was gonna post pics that I found of him on a memory card, but haven't yet.. I will get around to it soon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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