Why we love children

[Mistyrayn]

Why We Love Children

A nursery school pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.

'How do you know that the cat was dead?' she asked her pupil.

'Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move,' answered the child innocently.

'You did WHAT?' the teacher exclaimed in surprise.

'You know,' explained the boy, 'I leaned over and went '

Pssst' and it didn't move'

A small boy is sent to bed by his father.

Five minutes later......'Da-ad....'

'What?'

'I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?'

'No, You had your chance. Lights out.'

Five minutes later: 'D a-aaaad.....'

'WHAT?'

'I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??'

' I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to smack you!!'

Five minutes later......'Daaaa-aaaad.....'

'WHAT!'

'When you come in to smack me, can you bring a drink of water?'

It was that time, during the Sunday morning service,

for the children's sermon.

All the children were invited to come forward.

One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat

down, the minister leaned over and said, 'That is a very pretty dress.

Is it your Easter Dress?'

The little girl replied, directly into the minister's clip-on

microphone, 'Yes, and my Mum says it's a bitch to iron.'

A little boy was doing his math homework.

He said to himself, 'Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.

Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine....'

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, 'What are you doing?'

The little boy answered, 'I'm doing my math homework, Mum.'

'And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?' the mother asked

'Yes,' he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, '

What are you teaching my son in math?'

The teacher replied, 'Right now, we are learning addition.'

The mother asked, 'And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that

son of a bitch is four?'

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, '

What I taught them was, two plus two,

THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.'

A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply,

I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter.'

Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say,

'I'm Jane Sugarbrown.'

The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, 'Aren't you Mr.

Sugarbrown's daughter?'

She replied, 'I thought I was, but mother says I'm not.'

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.

She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut,

eating a snack cake The barber says to her,

'Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your muffin.'

She says, 'Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too.'

[Sarah]

lmao don't you love kids:D

[Dunc]

A small boy is sent to bed by his father.

Five minutes later......'Da-ad....'

'What?'

'I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?'

'No, You had your chance. Lights out.'

Five minutes later: 'D a-aaaad.....'

'WHAT?'

'I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??'

' I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to smack you!!'

Five minutes later......'Daaaa-aaaad.....'

'WHAT!'

'When you come in to smack me, can you bring a drink of water?'

Love that one lol

[Mistyrayn]

prefer my dogs LOL

[Marc]

That son of a bitch is four LOL

[Sarah]

lol that was you at school lol