Austinville Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistyrayn Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 OMG... that is the best thing i have heard for very long time LMFAO .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 rof lmao you have cheered me up no end with that!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jules dief taz tor Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 class ......................... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BingBlaze n Skyla Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 lmao that is awesome Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scott Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 lol nice one lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pprobst99 Posted April 4, 2009 Report Share Posted April 4, 2009 Here's your sign !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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