Anyone an Avid Reader?

[Kroush]

As I posted before, I'm currently working on a Trilogy which is a sci-fi fantasy. The kind with elves, dwarves, dark elves, spirits, druids, necromancers and the like. Lately I've been lacking motivation to continue writing, as no one seems to take an interest in it. My husband won't ever read it. So if you could tell me what you think, I'll post some excepts.

--- Excerpt #1

The rain beat against the stained glass of the chapel heavily, echoing throughout the corridors. A man sat alone, kneeling before the altar to Alanra, the goddess of light and overseer of Lour. The statue smiled lovingly onto the altar, her arms thrown out welcoming all who entered the sanctuary. Her long hair draped over her shoulders and her body was adorned with the sun and stars.

The man ran his hands over a battered leather scroll case. The heavy cloak he wore was drenched from the rain, the hood drooped over his face as he spoke in a low tone. “My lady, Alanra, you must know why I have come to you...†He gazed expectantly at the statue. The man was answered by only the rain, echoing through the cathedral. “You need not to hide yourself in my presence my lady, you know very well who I am.â€Â

A moment passed, and the room stood unchanged. The statue of Alanra shifted, the smile in the stone faded. It turned to the man and spoke. “Has Xarion sent you to this district? I know all too well of your identity and your presence is not a welcomed one, prophet from the Realm of Thereafter.â€Â

The prophet let out somewhat of a laugh and raised his head toward the statue, covered by his hood, the rain dripping off him onto the delicately tiled floor. “Xarion? No, even I, who foretells of events that have not yet come to pass, does not know of whence the creator shall awaken.†He sifted the scroll in his hand.

“Very well then.†The statue sighed, eying the scroll uneasily. “Whatever may have brought you to Faur'shaun, let it be done with.â€Â

“As you wish.†He bowed his head. The statue reverted back to its position, the life that had animated it vanished. Alanra's statue stood before the altar, its face full of sadness.

“Faur'shaun...your time shall come to pass...†He said in a low voice.

..........

Excerpt #2 (Note, this is some time after the first except, yet taking place in the same area)

“I come before you, a mere elf, to ask a favor of you. As you know, for years I have firmly followed your teachings in the way of the light and have tried to the fullest of my ability to lead your people in your teachings as well.†regaining his composure, the King found it in himself to look the statue in the eyes, his welled with tears meeting hers, just as sorrowful. “Garrison is lying in my private gardens, a child whose life has been unfairly taken from him before it even began! I beg of you, whatever it may be that you should decide to take as collateral for my boy, please do so and return the child's life even if it may be my own!†He collapsed on the floor, sobbing into the sleeve of his tunic. He sat there, motionless and unanswered, his muffled cries fading into the night.

The second phase of the midnight ibari had begun and the King still lie in silence at the foot of the altar. He could not give up the string of hope he had been holding on to, not now... he clenched his fists, groping at the cold, marble floors of the chapel. How long could he wait for an answer? The quiet halls may have well been filled with the screeching of gremlins and the cackling of demons, for that is the hell Tisus felt he were in, just waiting for... what was it exactly he was waiting for? What kind of sign did he expect to see? It were not as if he had come to the gods before, or anyone, for that matter.

A creak of the chapel door alarmed the King and he turned to see who, or what had disturbed the peace of the quiet chapel. He had been certain he had not been followed here. What if he were discovered? Tisus had many enemies, those who hailed from one of the six other kingdoms and even those within his own. He had secretly slunk off to the cathedral without the knowledge of the royal guards nor his Queen.

“Eline...†he softly cried, remembering his wife whom was still under sedation, in fear that at her fragile state that the results of informing her of what had become of the newborn, would have devastating effects. Tisus shuddered, he could not let himself think of what would come of him if he were to watch his wife and child both be lost to the beckon of the netherworld.

The archway of the open door stood empty. 'Perhaps it was only the wind.' he thought to himself in uncertainty. He could not remember if he had indeed closed the door behind him or not. He slowly raised himself and walked to the door. It was dark outside, the moon had begun to perish behind rolling dark clouds and the blossoming trees swayed to and fro with the wind which was growing more forceful.

As he placed his hand on the door, a chilling brush of wind forced shivers up the back of his neck. The clouds had blotted out the moon now, and the chapel was dark as it was silent. Tisus gingerly closed the door, this time securing that it had been shut. As he slid his hand down the door, he looked up to the carvings of his goddess on the massive wooden fixture and heaved a sigh as thunder begun to softly roll in the distance.

“It is childish for me to believe so strongly-†a sound pierced through the silence of the sanctuary. It was a sound unlike any the King had ever heard. It was a deep, bellowing sound like that of a wild beast. He quickly turned around for his eyes to meet a dark figure and he knew for certain that he was no longer alone. He squinted through the darkness, trying to make out the strange figure.

Lightning flashed, lighting up the building to reveal a large, white wolf with piercing yellow eyes staring at Tisus from the altar. The beast was enormous, its size rivaling that of the horses in the King's stables. Its left eye had a scar which ran from the top of its head to the bottom of its face. Such a fierce beast! The sight of the monster stuck fear into the King and he fell back against the door, stunned.

It was dark again as the light from the sudden strike had dissipated and now Tisus was stranded alone with a beast which he could not see. “W-wolf...†he gasped breathlessly. It couldn't be, the creatures had thought to have been extinct. Perhaps it was not real. In the back of his mind, something told him to flee, to get up and run before it was all too late. But what he had seen... even though he had only seen it for a fleeting moment, the beast's piercing gaze stabbed through him, harnessing him, holding him there motionless. His mind screamed at him to get up, to move to where it was safe, but his body wouldn't listen. He could not move regardless of the efforts his body made.

[Kells xx]

first of all its really good,

when i am writing a story i usually have 15/20 pages of back story and inotes etc to go back on.

i dont know how much backstory you have done on each character/settings etc to help

i can flit back and forth between a few stories that i am writing just to give myself fresh insight to a character or plot line

keep on doing what you are doing as its great

[Kroush]

These are merely excepts, there is a bit of a prologue and this first book of the trilogy is the events that lead up to the main event, so it's like a history book.

[Andy]

I like it. . .it has a David Eddings / Katherine Kurtz kind of feel to it.

Do you need help. . .and / or just encouragement. ??

If you find yourself blocked, take a character, and write a one page. . .

A Day in the life of. . .

Then same character 10 years later. . . . an hour in the life of. . .

10 years later . . . . a minute in the life of. . .

Just one page but it makes you focus on the detail needed for differing timescales, and how a character has changed over 10 years.

and can help shift a block and generate new ideas.

I love to write but find so little time. . .

[dygosamikita]

Sounds good...I agree with Andy I got a David Eddings kind of feel from it as well. Keep at it, and tell your husband shame on him for not taking an interest.

[Kroush]

Oh I don't have block, I wrote out all the details to the story, the background to every planet, race, their traditions, holidays, government and everything before I even began writing. So I know where the story is and how it's going to go, just no one seemed interested in it so I lost my motivation to continue it.

[Andy]

Oh I don't have block, I wrote out all the details to the story, the background to every planet, race, their traditions, holidays, government and everything before I even began writing. So I know where the story is and how it's going to go, just no one seemed interested in it so I lost my motivation to continue it.

Ah, I see. . . yep the lonely life of the writer.

Have you read . . .

Stephen Kings. . "On Writing" ?

It's a bit of an Autobiography in which he also shows his methods for writing . . . his daily routine, etc.

it shows how much discipline is needed to "churn out" page after page.

[Kroush]

Here is a Third Exert:

The dark room was lit dimly by candlelight, illuminating the face of the magister, Volkun as he toiled over his brew of potions. The alchemy room resembled more of a dungeon than a room of science, the cold stone walls harboring a spider's web of vines. Along the walls were various potted plants and flower bearing greenery of all colours and shapes. There were islands of strange and exotic wild growth and above each hung a glass sphere filled with a burning, fiery light that resembled a sun. The plants had grown towards these lights, feeding off the rays it shed.

The orbs, which had been glowing steadily began to flicker. Volkun turned to look at them with a slightly puzzled glare. “Boy.†he called.

“Yes, Lord Volkun?†Craisios stepped from the dark to stand at foot of the magister.

He held an empty glass sphere in front of the young man. “Light this for me.â€Â

“Yes, m'lord.†it was not an unusual task, as Volkun had always designated Craisios to lighting the spheres. Though he had never quite seen the magister do it himself. Craisios stuck his hand into the open door of the glass and an orange light began to stream from his fingertips, meeting into a rotating ball of light. He withdrew his hand and the light began to quiver as if struggling for existence.

Volkun's eyebrows raised in surprise. “Interesting...†He placed the orb above the table where it stayed suspended in the air.

“Why does it not grow like the others?†Craisios asked. He feared his touch with the magics were fading and Volkun, who had been a father to him, would see him as worthless.

“Something is amiss,†he squinted his eyes, studying the light. The lighting in the room from the orbs continued to fade in and out. “This is.. very peculiar. Interesting indeed.â€Â

“I do not understand.†the boy said, careful to not annoy his master.

“You are the royal blood of Tisus.†Volkun said as he turned to tend to a plot of plants. “There is something about your line-â€Â

“The saying that we are blessed by the gods?†Craisios asked, as he knew that was what was uttered amongst the high elfin of his family.

“Yes, yes...†he seemed consumed by his tending. “Be it from the gods or other... you possess a magic that is not powered by the dark magics, much like the sort we harness from the earth.â€Â

“So ours is like that of the physicians?†he tried to grasp the gist of what the magister was trying to say.

“Not quite,†he busied himself over to an iron pipe on the wall and twisted a valve that created an opening. He then proceeded to extract water into another glass sphere, which he set over the plots and it slowly released a sprinkling of nutrients to the plants. “The physicians receive light through prayer to the gods. Their magic only bears the ability to heal. Yours, however seems to be unlimited by ability. You can heal...†he pulled a bit of light from the sphere above the desk into a vial and gently dripped a small amount onto w withered flower. The flower slowly began to erect itself, the color returning to the stem and leaves until it stood renewed, as if never touched by death. “Or destroy.†He then poured the remnants of the vial onto the flower which caught fire and withered into a charred pile of ash.

Craisios looked at his hands and then to Volkun. He had not been aware of the extent of his abilities.. had the magister known all this time?

Volkun sat back down at the table, twirling the empty vial between his hands. 'The queen has just given birth to your brother this eve.†he said, staring at the container.

Craisios' eyes widened a bit. A brother? He would have competition now, though he rested surly in the fact that as the first born, he would have the rights to the throne after the passing of his father.

Volkun looked to the prince, who stare at the floor in contemplation. He grinned a bit. “You... are not excited for this sibling? The rest of the Kingdom seems to be buzzing with eagerness of the new arrival.â€Â

“He's not my sibling.†Craisios muttered, digging the tip of his boot into the dirt which had shown through the cracked, marble floor.

“Now, my boy, what makes you say that? You are of the same flesh and blood.†Volkun masked his grin with a look of concern.

“He is not my brother. Tisus is not my father. I may have his blood running through my viens but-†he glanced over at the alchemy table a moment, then noticed his mentor catching his gaze and looked away. “A father wouldn't have thrown me out and forgotten of me. I can't remember the last time I even saw him that wasn't in a public announcement. I doubt he even remembers my name,much less my ageâ€Â

“I'm sure that's not the case, he's the king, you know. Your father is busy.†He said, casually continuing his routine mixture of herbs.

“Not busy enough to keep him from having another child.†Craisios was full of rage. “You're ten times the father he is to me.â€Â

Volkun sat straight up in the chair. “Is that so?†he said, his voice a bit lightened.

“It is you who all these years has cared for me and raised me, teaching me the ways of magic, my mother, no, not even she has given the time to look after me as a child from her own womb.†the boy grew restless, having held his emotions to himself for all these years. “They did not care as much as to send me to the scholars or take me on royal events, it is as if they've forgotten of my existence all together.â€Â

“Now,†Volkun said, turning to Craisios as he set the vials on the table. “Perhaps you should give your father some time, he may change now that there's another to look after and times have become more settled.â€Â

Craisios bit his lip an stared back at the floor. “Perhaps he may have changed, but that will never undo what has already been done.â€Â

And an illustration of the character Crasios (In his later years) for good measure.