'Dear IT Support:

[Mistyrayn]

'Dear IT Support:

>

>Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to

>Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in

>the overall performance, particularly in the

>Flower and Jewellery applications, which

>operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

>

>In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other

>valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and

>Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed

>undesirable programs such as: Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket 3.0.

>

>Conversation 8.0 no longer runs; it simply

>crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging

>5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?

>

>Signed, Desperate Housewife

[Mistyrayn]

>Dear Desperate Housewife

>

>First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an

>Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

>

>Try entering the command:

>C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME to download Tears

>6..2, which should automatically install Guilt

>3.0. If that application works as designed,

>Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the

>applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

>

>But remember, overuse of the above application

>can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy

>Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

>

>WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly.

>

>CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install

>Mother-in-law. This is not a supported application and will crash Husband 1.0..

>

>In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but

>it does have limited memory and cannot learn new

>applications quickly. You might consider buying

>additional software to improve memory and

>performance. I personally would recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

>

>Good Luck, IT Support

>