Bricklayer's report

[Mistyrayn]

If you haven't finished your assignments yet, this will give you a chuckle.

But then you must press on!

BRICKLAYER'S REPORT: Possibly the funniest story in a long

while;

This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the

news letter of the Austra1ian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation

Board. This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a

Darwin Award for sure

Dear S i r ,

i am writing in response to your request for additional information

in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put rrpoor planning" as the

cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the

following details be s u f f i c i e n t .

I am a bricklayer by trade.

On the day of the accident., I was working alone on the roof of a new

six-story building.When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks Left over

which, when weighed later were found to be slightty in excess of

500 - L B S .

Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in

a barrel by using a puIley, which was attached to the side of the

building on the sixth floor.

Securlng the rope at ground I went up to the roof, swung the barrel

out and loaded the bricks into it. Then i went down and untied the rope,

holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

You will note in Block II of the accident report form that I weigh

135 I b s .

Due to my surprise aL being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost

my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I

proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now

proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained

the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as

Listed in section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until

the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was

ableto hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience

pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the

ground and the bottom fell out of the barreL. Now devoid of the

weight of the bricks (that barrel weighed approximately 50 1bs) i refer you

again to my weight

As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the

building.

In the vicinity of the third fIoor, I met the barrel coming up. This

accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several

lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel

seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the

Lt trri.X" and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as i lay there on the pile of bricks,

in pain unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind

and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin

its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry.

Kevin Roben

Wagga Glass e Aluminium Pty Ltd

PO Box 5004 (11 Dobney Ave)

Wagga Wagga NSW 2550