Kid's quotes...

[robke]

My young grandson called the other day to wish

me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I

was, and I told him, "70". My grandson was

quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you

start at 1?"

 

After putting her grandchildren to bed, a

grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy

sweatshirt and proceeded to color her hair. As

she heard the children getting more and more

rambunctious, her patience grew thin.

Finally, she threw a plastic bag around her head and

stormed into their room, putting them back to

bed with stern warnings. As she left the

room, she heard the three-year-old say with a

trembling voice,

"Who was THAT?"

 

A grandmother was telling her little

granddaughter what her own childhood was

like. "We used to skate outside on a

pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it

hung from a tree in our front yard. We

rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the

woods."

The little girl was wide-eyed, taking all this in. At last she

said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

 

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked,

"Grandma, do you know how you and God are

alike?" I mentally polished my halo and

replied, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're

both old," he replied.

 

I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned

her colors yet, so I decided to test her.

I would point out something and ask what color

it was. She would tell me and was always

correct. It was fun for me, so I

continued. At last, she headed for the

door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try

to figure out some of these colors yourself!"

 

When my grandson Billy and I entered our

vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we

were inside to avoid attracting pesky

insects. Still, a few fireflies followed

us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy

whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the

mosquitoes are coming after us with

flashlights."

 

When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly

replied, "I'm not sure."

"Look in your underwear, Grandpa", he advised ... . .

"Mine says I'm 4 to 6."

 

A second grader came home from school and said

to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what?

We learned how to make babies today."

The grandmother, more than a little surprised,

tried to keep her cool. "That's

interesting." she said . . . "How do you make babies?"

"It's simple", replied the girl. "You just

change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."

 

Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a

public servant", said a teacher. The small

boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder,

pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to

correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant

means?", she asked.

"Sure", replied the young boy confidently.

'It means carrying a child."

 

A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren

to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed

past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire

truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children

started discussing the dog's duties.

"They use him to keep crowds back", said one child.

"No", said another. "He's just for good luck."

A third child brought the argument to a close.

"You're both wrong . . . They use the dogs", she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."

 

A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma

lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the

airport, and when we want her, we just go get

her. Then, when we're done having her

visit, we take her back to the airport."

 

Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He

teaches me good things, but I don't get to see

him enough to get as smart as him!