Sarah Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - their nose height. Dear Dogs, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not stake a claim for it, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this.. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, Bark, howl, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine attendance is not required. The proper order is to kiss me then go sniff the other dogs butt, i can not stress this enough To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets: 1. They live here. You don't. 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it 'furniture.) 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, they are adopted children who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly. Remember: Dogs are better than kids because they: 01. Eat less 02. Don't ask for money all the time 03. Are easier to train 04. Normally come when called 05. Never ask to drive the car 06. Don't hang out with drug-using friends 07. Don't smoke or drink 08. Don't have to buy the latest fashions 09. Don't want to wear your clothes 10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and... 11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lesley Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 that is ace so so true x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
siberian_wolf Posted December 22, 2008 Report Share Posted December 22, 2008 very good! Very true and that last bit about why dogs are better than children is so very true and why I chose dogs over kids! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistyrayn Posted December 22, 2008 Report Share Posted December 22, 2008 To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets: 1. They live here. You don't. 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it 'furniture.) 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, they are adopted children who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly. Remember: Dogs are better than kids because they: 01. Eat less 02. Don't ask for money all the time 03. Are easier to train 04. Normally come when called 05. Never ask to drive the car 06. Don't hang out with drug-using friends 07. Don't smoke or drink 08. Don't have to buy the latest fashions 09. Don't want to wear your clothes 10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and... 11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children. Abso bloody fantastic LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Austinville Posted December 22, 2008 Report Share Posted December 22, 2008 Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawPrints Posted December 22, 2008 Report Share Posted December 22, 2008 fanbloodytastic! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dog walker Posted December 22, 2008 Report Share Posted December 22, 2008 hahaha they'll fantastic! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunc Posted December 23, 2008 Report Share Posted December 23, 2008 Lovin it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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