Wife dislikes dog, I love him (what else can I do?)

[InterSimi]

Hi,

A bit of background:

We have owned dogs for the last 16 years (married 16 years too), our previous dogs have been mix breeds (collie crosses) and a Blue Merle Collie (blind from birth). We also own 2 cats and 2 kittens (not quite largely grown)

5 months ago (or there abouts) we lost Kali, or last collie cross to cancer...I decided that we would not go through that again and didn't want another dog. My wife decided that we should get another 2 weeks later and I agreed (after a little pursuasion...Very little).

We look around the adoption centres and find Shinobi, a beautiful White Sibe. Not knowing that much about them, I purchase a book and do lots of reasearch...They sounded ideal and he was lovely.

Situation:

5 months on and he is still mouthing at my wife and pretty much bossing her about when I am not in the house. He does try it on with me occassionally, but most of the time, I can get his muzzle on and it stays on for about 5 minutes, before I remove it.

My wife however, struggles to put the muzzle on. When Shinobi is outside in the garden and my wife needs him to come in, he refuses and just keeps running outside. When he does come in, he just wants to play and mouths at her, grabbing her arms and her legs (Shinobi is about 15 months old now and a castrated male). My wife does have lots of bruises on her arms and legs.

We have tried lots of things to try and correct the behaviour:

1. 
   
   
2. Change of diet
   
   
3. More walks (from twice a day to three times, 6 Km in total)
   
   
4. Buying a dog powered scooter (so he can run and get knackered)
   
   
5. Using a dog trainer to help us train him (worked initially)
   
   
6. Crating him at night and when we are out (not for bad behaviour). He can be a little destructive (shoes etc)
   
   
7. Being the dominant animal (lying on him etc, until he is calm)
   
   
8. Shouting ouch! when he mouths and ignoring him (he bites your bum and legs when you turn your back)
   
   
9. Shaking a bottle with stones in (he ignores it, like it is empty)
   
   
10. Tapping him on the nose (winds him up)
    
    
11. Ignoring him (he gets your attention by jumping on you)
    
    

Over the last 5 months, I have grown to love him to bits. As far as I am concerned, he is like part of the family, however, I can't have him hurting my wife (even if he is doing it playfully).

I have spent hundreds on purchasing items also to try and use with him (scooters, backpacks, toys, bones etc)

I know my wife would like to have him adopted else where, but that would devistate me really, I have really bonded with him and I know he is playing, but his bite inhibition doesn't seem to work. I have bruises too, but and not that bothered, as mine are few and far between, where my wife's is pretty much constant.

I have no idea what to do next.

[Kissu & Aara]

Tagging Bec for you.

Have you guys been keeping up with the training the trainer told you to do? You have to be consistent.

Maybe let your wife feed him, let him out to potty, etc.

Sorry not much help.

[sutsibe]

When you worked with the trainer, did he/she train the dog, did you, or did your wife?

Unfortunately, I think about the only way it's likely to work is if your wife is willing to step up and work with him to train him herself, and win his respect. He seems to me, anyway, to be treating her more like a littermate/an equal than someone he has any real respect for. It will be difficult, at first, but if she can become assertive enough (and consistent about it) to let him know that she WILL get her way and he will NOT mouth her and WILL be respectful, he will give in and will very likely be a delight.

Have you tried the Nothing in Life is Free training method? Take a look at some of the links: http://search.yahoo.com/search;_ylt=Av9SSlGi2Kg7reZk8KXvno2bvZx4?fr=yfp-t-435-s&toggle=1&cop=mss&ei=UTF8&p=nothing%20in%20life%20is%20free%20dog%20training

Good luck!

[aronoiiel]

I was thinking along the same lines as Gigi it sounds like he does not see her as a higher pack member at all. The description you gave reminds me of that one clip of it's me or the dog with Diesel the sibe; not as severe though I would imagine

[Roxy1]

Absolutely agree with what Gigi said - He does look at your wife as an equal and a playmate.

Also agree that you need your wife to do some training with him, but I would continue daily training. I am not familiar with what training you have done.

Here is one technique you could try- I find this very effective MOST of the time.

You should have your wife keep a lead on him when he is in those moods. Have him drag it around the house but make sure you do this when someone is with him. Don't want him to get it caught on something and do damage or worse.

When he gets overly playful, have her grab the leash, give a firm NO, and put him in an area you pick to use for a time out. It only needs to be for a matter of a few seconds. Bring him out as if nothing happened. Repeat consistently as needed.

Results should be fairly quick. She should notice improvement right away after putting him away 1,2 or 3 times.

The best area to put him in would be a room like a bathroom and close the door.

After she takes him out of the room, have her give him a nyla bone or something to redirect his energy.

You said you changed diets? How much protein is in the new food? Make sure you have actually lowered his protein.

[Bec]

We have tried lots of things to try and correct the behaviour:

1. 
   
   
2. Change of diet
   
   
3. More walks (from twice a day to three times, 6 Km in total)
   
   
4. Buying a dog powered scooter (so he can run and get knackered)
   
   
5. Using a dog trainer to help us train him (worked initially)
   
   
6. Crating him at night and when we are out (not for bad behaviour). He can be a little destructive (shoes etc)
   
   
7. Being the dominant animal (lying on him etc, until he is calm)
   
   
8. Shouting ouch! when he mouths and ignoring him (he bites your bum and legs when you turn your back)
   
   
9. Shaking a bottle with stones in (he ignores it, like it is empty)
   
   
10. Tapping him on the nose (winds him up)
    
    
11. Ignoring him (he gets your attention by jumping on you)

1. 
   
   

Reading the list above, none of these things will really work to address the behaviour or modify it.

Remember that behaviour modification is about changing the way the dog thinks, and their emotional response to specific stimuli/triggers. Exercising a dog as a way of tiring them out so they don't display a behaviour (because they are too exhausted) may work initially but in the long run it will only make the dog fitter and stronger and will take more to wear him out.

Using noise to interrupt his behaviour like exercise may have an initial effect because it can surprise or startle the dog, but then the dog will learn to ignore it.

And trying to dominate him by lying on him is really very ineffective and potentially dangerous.

What did the dog trainer show you to do? If it was all of the above, there are a few things I would recommend but you really need a consult with a reputable behaviourist. In the meantime I suggest implementing the triangle of temptation as a start, get your wife to do it so he can develop more respect for her and the resources she provides.

http://www.k9pro.com.au/pages.php?pageid=52

As recommended above implement nothing in life is free in all interactions you have with your dog - http://www.k9pro.com.au/pages/NILIF%2C-the-way-ALL-dogs-should-be-raised.html

I'd also be crate training him for periods when you let him inside. Don't let him free roam the house. Teach him if he comes in he has to be in a designated area i.e. on a mat or in his crate. He really needs mental stimulation - training, and lots of it! He needs to be taught what behaviour will get him rewards, on your terms, rather than seeking rewards through the behaviour he has been displaying. I can see you are really trying with him, but you've been given the wrong advice as to how to deal with him which isn't your fault - but the things you listed above are largely ineffective (as you have been discovering).

[persephona]

I agree with everybody else, he certainly doesn't respect your wife and thinks of her as one of his "mates", so to speak.

Besides NILIF, which has already been suggested, a good idea would be to completely avoid getting physical with him. The idea of dragging a leash around when she is home is very good - this way, Shinobi can be led to his time-out place in a non-confrontational way.

I don't really like the idea of putting a muzzle on when he is nipping/biting as so far, it doesn't really seem to get the point across. It also involves physically touching him and considering the fact your wife is struggling with it, he will regard it as something he can avoid if he wants to. I would avoid using it all together, as well as methods like tapping his nose or lying on him until he is calm.

Your wife needs to become more assertive and be really consistent. I am confident he can be trained and taught how to behave, with the right approach and consistency.

[Bec]

Oh yes - I forgot to add. I don't think the muzzle is doing anything to alter his behaviour, it's just preventing him from actually biting anyone. I don't have a problem with muzzling, but it doesn't sound like the dog has been conditioned to wearing it and it's not actually addressing the behaviour.

[Storm Angel n Auroras Mum]

hUREXCizjb0

this is the episode mentioned above Is it kinda like this??

[BingBlaze n Skyla]

what does ur wife do for shinobi - does she walk play feed him ect? if not the more she does this the more he is likely to see her as above him in the pack - not below

[InterSimi]

Thanks for the great replies. I will look into the be gavial items listed above.

I works shifts, so my wife does everything for Shinobi when I am not there. I.e walks 3 times a day (which he is fine with... My wife and me). Feeds him and does some training.

Our trainer is very good, but not a behaviourist. She has taught us to get him to sit, using food and a "click" word. I find this very useful and can generally get him calm, using a calming voice, with food in my hand.

I agree about the scooter training. Initially, I thought he was bored and TV shows dogs with issues that are not walked much (if at all). We took to the idea of knackering him out and getting him exercise as a side to the training. I must admit, in the back of my mind, I did start to think, we would be making him into an athlete, not a couch potato, so he may require more attention.

I said to my wife yesterday, that Shinobi sees her as a play mate, an equal, not a senior member of the pack. We do have 2 children too, who, although they love him, do not play with him very often, because they are frightened of him (kids are 12 and 15 years old)

[Sibemum]

Hi,

A bit of background:

We have owned dogs for the last 16 years (married 16 years too), our previous dogs have been mix breeds (collie crosses) and a Blue Merle Collie (blind from birth). We also own 2 cats and 2 kittens (not quite largely grown)

5 months ago (or there abouts) we lost Kali, or last collie cross to cancer...I decided that we would not go through that again and didn't want another dog. My wife decided that we should get another 2 weeks later and I agreed (after a little pursuasion...Very little).

We look around the adoption centres and find Shinobi, a beautiful White Sibe. Not knowing that much about them, I purchase a book and do lots of reasearch...They sounded ideal and he was lovely.

Situation:

5 months on and he is still mouthing at my wife and pretty much bossing her about when I am not in the house. He does try it on with me occassionally, but most of the time, I can get his muzzle on and it stays on for about 5 minutes, before I remove it.

My wife however, struggles to put the muzzle on. When Shinobi is outside in the garden and my wife needs him to come in, he refuses and just keeps running outside. When he does come in, he just wants to play and mouths at her, grabbing her arms and her legs (Shinobi is about 15 months old now and a castrated male). My wife does have lots of bruises on her arms and legs.

We have tried lots of things to try and correct the behaviour:

1. 
   
   
2. Change of diet
   
   
3. More walks (from twice a day to three times, 6 Km in total)
   
   
4. Buying a dog powered scooter (so he can run and get knackered)
   
   
5. Using a dog trainer to help us train him (worked initially)
   
   
6. Crating him at night and when we are out (not for bad behaviour). He can be a little destructive (shoes etc)
   
   
7. Being the dominant animal (lying on him etc, until he is calm)
   
   
8. Shouting ouch! when he mouths and ignoring him (he bites your bum and legs when you turn your back)
   
   
9. Shaking a bottle with stones in (he ignores it, like it is empty)
   
   
10. Tapping him on the nose (winds him up)
    
    
11. Ignoring him (he gets your attention by jumping on you)
    
    

Over the last 5 months, I have grown to love him to bits. As far as I am concerned, he is like part of the family, however, I can't have him hurting my wife (even if he is doing it playfully).

I have spent hundreds on purchasing items also to try and use with him (scooters, backpacks, toys, bones etc)

I know my wife would like to have him adopted else where, but that would devistate me really, I have really bonded with him and I know he is playing, but his bite inhibition doesn't seem to work. I have bruises too, but and not that bothered, as mine are few and far between, where my wife's is pretty much constant.

I have no idea what to do next.

Hi I have seen Victoria Stillwell programme 'It's me or the dog' that dealt with exactly this problem with a male SIBE. No respect for the Lady of the house and sort of respects the man of the house. He def will continue to challenge as long as he is not aware of your wifes status in the house. Victoria started the training with only the wife being the food provider and making the Sibe wait until she invited him to eat out of his bowl before he could have the food. this seemed to be the key platform for the rest of the training - I'll try to find the link - you'll be amazed at how similar your case sounds.

[Sibemum]

Hi I have seen Victoria Stillwell programme 'It's me or the dog' that dealt with exactly this problem with a male SIBE. No respect for the Lady of the house and sort of respects the man of the house. He def will continue to challenge as long as he is not aware of your wifes status in the house. Victoria started the training with only the wife being the food provider and making the Sibe wait until she invited him to eat out of his bowl before he could have the food. this seemed to be the key platform for the rest of the training - I'll try to find the link - you'll be amazed at how similar your case sounds.

Ok no time to dig for the programme itself - Lunchtime - but here are the details and I would imagine he'd be on You tube or something..

· www.tv.com/shows/its-me-or-the-dog-uk/diesel-the-husky-1212589

· Episode Summary

·

· Diesel is a 9-month-old male Siberian Husky who is literally tearing his owners, Jordan and Becky and their relationship apart. Puppy-sized he fit snugly into their small home, but he's grown into a full sized dog now. Diesel has no respect for Becky at all and misbehaves when Jordan is away. He jumps up on people, mouths people, and marks his territory on his owners' bed. Victoria Stilwell is the couple's last hope.

I really hope this helps =- but proves it is doable.....with consistency and patience.... Good Luck

Ah storm and Angels Mum beat me to it.....

[InterSimi]

Hi, we have that episode recorded on Sky. It is just like that.

We don't have the luxury of a basement however, which also played a big park in the show

I have shown my wife the comments here and read the articles in the links. Here is what we are going to try and do:

1. We are going to eat our tea first, in front of Shinobi

2. Marie ( my wife) is going to bring Shinobi's food bowl in and make him sit and wait

3. Once he sits and waits he will get his food

4. The time to wait will increase, up to 3 minutes

Reading the article from Bec, there was a bit of conflicting info. The trainer says that if the dog jumps or bites, he will walk away and ignore the dog, not even saying "no, get down", as this is attention. He then goes on and says, he will tell the dog to sit and reward for the sit. Shinobi is clever enough to link a bite and a sit together and have that as his "trick"

[Sibemum]

Hi, we have that episode recorded on Sky. It is just like that.

We don't have the luxury of a basement however, which also played a big park in the show

I have shown my wife the comments here and read the articles in the links. Here is what we are going to try and do:

1. We are going to eat our tea first, in front of Shinobi

2. Marie ( my wife) is going to bring Shinobi's food bowl in and make him sit and wait

3. Once he sits and waits he will get his food

4. The time to wait will increase, up to 3 minutes

Reading the article from Bec, there was a bit of conflicting info. The trainer says that if the dog jumps or bites, he will walk away and ignore the dog, not even saying "no, get down", as this is attention. He then goes on and says, he will tell the dog to sit and reward for the sit. Shinobi is clever enough to link a bite and a sit together and have that as his "trick"

Good Luck - Let us know how you get on.

[onlythisgirl]

Hi, we have that episode recorded on Sky. It is just like that.

We don't have the luxury of a basement however, which also played a big park in the show

I have shown my wife the comments here and read the articles in the links. Here is what we are going to try and do:

1. We are going to eat our tea first, in front of Shinobi

2. Marie ( my wife) is going to bring Shinobi's food bowl in and make him sit and wait

3. Once he sits and waits he will get his food

4. The time to wait will increase, up to 3 minutes

Reading the article from Bec, there was a bit of conflicting info. The trainer says that if the dog jumps or bites, he will walk away and ignore the dog, not even saying "no, get down", as this is attention. He then goes on and says, he will tell the dog to sit and reward for the sit. Shinobi is clever enough to link a bite and a sit together and have that as his "trick"

It doesn't necessarily have to be a basement, just a different room that no-one is in. It's more about him being separated from you guys until he is calm again. That way he should understand that it's his behaviour causing him to be removed.

Good luck!

[InterSimi]

Shinobi only has use of our sitting room and garden. The cats have the run of the house.

[Elyse]

Hi, we have that episode recorded on Sky. It is just like that.

We don't have the luxury of a basement however, which also played a big park in the show

I have shown my wife the comments here and read the articles in the links. Here is what we are going to try and do:

1. We are going to eat our tea first, in front of Shinobi

2. Marie ( my wife) is going to bring Shinobi's food bowl in and make him sit and wait

3. Once he sits and waits he will get his food

4. The time to wait will increase, up to 3 minutes

Reading the article from Bec, there was a bit of conflicting info. The trainer says that if the dog jumps or bites, he will walk away and ignore the dog, not even saying "no, get down", as this is attention. He then goes on and says, he will tell the dog to sit and reward for the sit. Shinobi is clever enough to link a bite and a sit together and have that as his "trick"

I like that method, but you need to try more of the NILF method. Nothing in life is free.

Think of it this way: You control all of his resources and things that he likes; food, water, outside, walks, playtime. YOU (or your wife) should be the ones that decide when these things happen, not the dog.

Make him do a calming trick (like lie down/sit) and wait for him to be calm. THEN give him what he wants...put down his food bowl, put down his water bowl after refilling it, take him outside, put on his leash for walks, etc, etc.

Like the others said above, I don't think the muzzle is a good idea. He doesn't seem to be getting the point.

Your kids have to do the same method as well - everyone in the family does or he'll realize that he can get away with some things with one person...but not with another.

You also have to be consistent. If he isn't allowed, for example, jumping up on people...correct him EVERY SINGLE TIME he does it. Timing is also key; you have to correct him while he is starting to do the action...not a few minutes after like putting on the muzzle. He doesn't understand that.

[sutsibe]

It may be that you will have to (for a short time, until he gets the point) leave the room briefly so that he is isolated, then. Make sure that the kids are also getting in on the training, as well, then, so that he learns to respect them, as well as your wife...

Let us know how it all goes, please!

[Kissu & Aara]

Have you a crate for him? Kissu's is used (amoung other things) for time out. He isn't let out until he is quiet and isn't making funny faces through the bars.

[ATTACH]28033[/ATTACH]

If done right, it will not be seen as punishment, so he won't start hating his crate. It will be no different than taking him to another room to calm down.

[husky princess]

i havent read the other responses...but sounds like the dog sees himself higher in the pack than your wife. SHE is the one who needs to change and put in place training so he respects her. If she isnt willing to change then i think you are at a loosing battle - sorry!. however they are very intelligent and will learn fast.

Whats the point of the muzzle? - to stop mouthing at your wife?? If so, pointless as hes not learning its just a barrier to prevent

[Bec]

I have shown my wife the comments here and read the articles in the links. Here is what we are going to try and do:

1. We are going to eat our tea first, in front of Shinobi

This is really a urban myth, there is no need to do this. I use the TOT method I linked to earlier at feeding times, it doesn't matter if you eat before or after.

2. Marie ( my wife) is going to bring Shinobi's food bowl in and make him sit and wait

3. Once he sits and waits he will get his food

4. The time to wait will increase, up to 3 minutes

If you read the articles I linked to, if you want to use the opportunity of feeding times to help with his behaviour then I wouldn't be simply making him sit and wait. He should be taught he needs to look to you for permission to eat. This will help teach him self control.

Reading the article from Bec, there was a bit of conflicting info. The trainer says that if the dog jumps or bites, he will walk away and ignore the dog, not even saying "no, get down", as this is attention. He then goes on and says, he will tell the dog to sit and reward for the sit. Shinobi is clever enough to link a bite and a sit together and have that as his "trick"

What he means is that he won't react in a negative way, but that he will teach the dog what behaviour will get attention. Your dog is learning that jumping up and biting people is a trick that he can use to get what he wants, he needs to be given a more appropriate behaviour to get access to the things he wants.

[BlackDawn]

I just want to put this out there, I've read about 50% of the replies here so forgive me if I skipped over this already. But, is it possible that Shinobi is part wolf?

[Siberian Shadow]

I was thinking along the same lines as Gigi it sounds like he does not see her as a higher pack member at all. The description you gave reminds me of that one clip of it's me or the dog with Diesel the sibe; not as severe though I would imagine

That is exactly what it reminds me of!

I recorded it recently.The husband couldn't believe what happened when he left the house,his partner was terrorised!

It turned out that the poor dog had been taken from it's mother too early and had not learned bite inhibition from it's litter mates(among other things)

It is all a matter of patient training and demonstrating leadership in a calm assertive way(gosh,I sound just like Caesar Milan)

[Siberian Shadow]

I was thinking along the same lines as Gigi it sounds like he does not see her as a higher pack member at all. The description you gave reminds me of that one clip of it's me or the dog with Diesel the sibe; not as severe though I would imagine

That is exactly what it reminds me of!

I recorded it recently.The husband couldn't believe what happened when he left the house,his partner was terrorised!

It turned out that the poor dog had been taken from it's mother too early and had not learned bite inhibition from it's litter mates(among other things)

It is all a matter of patient training and demonstrating leadership in a calm assertive way(gosh,I sound just like Caesar Milan)