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One day Little Johnny walks up to his Mom and says, Mommy, is God Black or White?

She replies, Well, Honey, God is both Black and White.

Then he says, Mommy, is God a boy or a girl?

God is both a boy and a girl, Honey, she replies.

Mommy, is God gay or straight? he inquires again.

Getting a little irritated, the mother replies, Well, Honey, God is both gay and straight.

After thinking for a moment, Johnny looks up and asks, Mommy, is God Michael Jackson?

A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish. The biker pulled over and said, Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.

The Lord said, Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for Me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.

The biker thought about it for a long time Finally he said, Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand our wives. I want to know how she feels inside, what shes thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothings wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy.

The Lord replied, You want two lanes or four on that bridge?.

A train hits a bus filled with Catholic school girls and they all perish. They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when St. Peter asks the first girl, Tiffany, have you ever had any contact with a male organ? She giggles and shyly replies, Well, I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger. St. Peter says, Okay, dip the tip of your finger in the Holy Water and pass through the gate.

St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, Jennifer, have you ever had any contact with a male organ? The girl is a little reluctant but replies, Well, once I fondled and stroked one. St. Peter says, Okay, dip your whole hand in the Holy Water and pass through the gate.

All of a sudden, there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls. One girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front, St.Peter says, Reeva, What seems to be the rush? The girl replies, If Im going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Jessica sticks her ass in it.

Little Janice was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, Tell me Janice, who created the universe? When Janice didnt stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

God Almighty! shouted Janice and the teacher said, Very good and Janice fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked Janice, Who is our Lord and Saviour. But, Janice didnt even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.

Jesus Christ! shouted Janice and the teacher said, Very good, and Janice fell back asleep.

Then the teacher asked Janice a third question. What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child? and again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.

This time Janice jumped up and shouted, If you stick me with that thing one more time, Ill break it in half and stick it up your ass!

the teacher fainted!

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